


here's to us

by 4snowfalls (orphan_account)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal Life, How Do I Tag, M/M, Soonhoon - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-27 00:16:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8380042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/4snowfalls
Summary: soonyoung reads a letter written by jihoon.





	

_**If you are reading this,** _  
_**it means I'm dead.** _  
_**And I'm not alive anymore.** _

_**But that's okay. Death is a normal thing.** _

_**They thought I was cold. heartless. They thought I had no feelings. The rest of the members always thought I had no heart. That I was just a composer and a singer with no aegyo. I wasn't one to express feelings.** _  
_**I didn't like being fake, but I had to be. I was sweet and charming for the cameras, but in reality- I was reserved. I never spoke much. I pushed others away.** _

_**They don't know me.** _

_**No one knew me. Maybe Jeonghan did. But normally, it was just me, myself and I. It would've been a solo ride until I died.** _  
_**But then, my heart became a stranger to it's own body as he barged into my life.** _

_**He barged into my life like a wrecking ball. He broke my walls down, no matter how hard I made them.** _  
_**I always wondered why he always tried so hard. I always pushed him away. I always told him off.** _

_**But he would always smile at me.** _

_**"Make sure you get home on time tonight, Jihoonie."** _

_**I kept denying it, but his words made me melt on the inside.** _

_**He began accompanying me when I composed the songs. He would always suggest things and sing along with my humming. If I was stressed, he would pull me into his lap and hug me.** _  
_**I loved his arms. His arms were warm and welcoming. It was like being touched by the sun.** _

_**"Jihoonie! I made a new choreography, wanna see?"** _

_**He always tried to give me the world. But I still didn't understand why. I wasn't likeable. I wasn't charming. I barely spoke.** _

_**He would show me his dances, and his ideas. He would always come to me first. He was such an idiot, I told myself. I was a liar. I was the idiot. He had the determination to get to me, and he did.** _  
_**I was just a shell that was distant, emotionless.** _

_**I still remember the day we began dating.** _

 

_It was when we were recording Pretty U. He would stand there in the recording booth, singing with a small smile. His voice was sweet, hitting high notes that suited him. He kept his eyes on me as he sang._  
_I was a flustered mess. All I did was look away, shyly smiling._

_After he got out of the recording booth, he looked at me._

_"Hey hey, Jihoonie." He says to me, standing next to my chair._

_"What?" I deadpan._

_I'm suddenly scooped into a pair of arms and spun around like a child. He has me in his arms, bridal style. He's singing happily._

_I want to pick and gather all_  
_the pretty words for you_  
_They stick in my_  
_throat in front of you_

_I squirm around. "Hey! Idiot! I need to record-"_

_He flops onto the couch, me in his lap again. He smiles at me, arms wrapped around my waist._

_I look away, blushing. "A-Ah.." I mutter._

_"Cute." He says quietly._

_"..." I look at him, scowling. "Cute? I'm not cute. You're blind."_

_He suddenly pecks my lips._

_"You're the cutest person ever to me." He whispers. "Will you be my cutie Jihoonie?"_

 

_**He was such a sap. I don't even know why I took his confession. It all just happened so quickly- AND BAM! We're a thing.** _

_**I remember the first night we had together. It Christmas time and we were just hanging out while the other members went last minute Christmas shopping.** _

_**We were home alone, and somehow we ended up tangled in his bed.** _

_**At least we finished before the others came home.** _

_**I never forgot that night. I remember there was one time in the shower. He made up an excuse for us to shower together and we did. Luckily our sounds were drowned out by rushing water.** _

 

_"AH! Fuck!" I cursed, body pressed against the glass of the shower. He plunges into me, spanking my ass after I curse._

_"No cursing, kitten." He whispers into my ear, pausing his movements. "The others are going to hear you." His voice sound husky as he bites my earlobe._

_"N-Not my fault.. it feels so good." I whimper._

_"What feels good~?" He teases, pulling out completely and slamming himself back in. "You mean this?"_

_He holds onto my hips, roughly pistoning into my entrance. His length abusing my prostate. I get forced forward into the glass door of the shower, moaning and arching my back._

_"I love you." He would whisper as he released inside me._

 

_**He always meant everything. He would whisper sweet words into my ears as we cuddled in the recording studio. He would tuck me in at night and tell me how much he loved me.** _  
_**He was always shy about it in front of the cameras. We had small moments, because we didn't want to be blatantly obvious.** _

_**Jeonghan was the one who caught on first. Now, as my best friend, no surprise there. He started noticing the bite marks on my neck, and how I was always so jumpy around my lover on the cameras.** _

_**He was completely supportive. I thank you for that, Yoon Jeonghan. You were the bestest friend I could ask for.** _

_**We soon hit six months together. We were going out for our celebration when suddenly all I saw was a speeding car and a voice screaming into my ears.** _

_**"JIHOONIE!"** _

_**"ANSWER ME!"** _

_**"PLEASE!"** _

_**I went black then. I entered comatose. I could still hear my surroundings. I could hear his sobs. I could feel him hold my hand. I could feel him whimpering my name. I could hear his sobs.** _

_**"Jihoonie... I'm so sorry. I wish I could be the one on that bed right now. You must be in so much pain. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry this happened.. if only I saw that speeding car."** _

_**I cried on the inside.** _

_**Soon, I woke up from comatose. It had been 2 months and I felt like death. I looked in the mirror and all I saw was a pale corpse.** _

_**He came in 10 minutes after I woke up. He hugged me so tightly, tears streaming down his face.** _

_**"I love you baby. I'm so sorry. I love you."** _

_**"It's okay. I'm alive."** _

_**It was a lie, I was dying as each second passed. The car smashed into my side and hit part of my spine. My head hit the steering wheel. Even if I was healed, I would be paralyzed.** _

_**I convinced the doctor to lie. He told the members that I would just be in the hospital for healing and I check out of the hospital in a week.** _

_**A week was all I had left to live.** _

_**And so, I used that week to write this letter.** _

_**I love you. Thank you for always accepting me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for showing me what it means to live and love. Thank you for being the determined little shit you were.** _  
_**If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have been the happiest person alive right now.** _

_**Kwon Soonyoung,** _  
_**I love you.** _

_**I hope someday you’ll be able to forgive me for lying to you, for telling you that I was going to live. No matter what, to me, you will always be my Soonyoung.** _

__

  
_**Forever Yours,** _  
_**your demon, Lee Jihoon.** _

 

 

 

 

  
Jihoon signs the letter, tears falling from his cheeks. His heart slow stops beating. He stiffens as he lays back onto his hospital bed, exhausted. Jihoon heaves one final breath as he closes his eyes and white flashes before his eyes.  
He dies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The doctor takes Jihoon's letter and puts it in an envelope, addressing it to Soonyoung. He leaves the letter on the table, along with a black box wrapped with a pretty pastel blue ribbon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
Soonyoung sits in Jihoon's hospital bedroom. He clutches the letter tightly in his fists as his lip quivers.  
Without a word, he unwraps the small black box to find a necklace.

"Forever and Always, your Jihoonie." is engraved in the expensive silver.

He silently puts the necklace on.

He looks at the now empty hospital bed.

He refuses to cry.

 

  
He doesn't cry until he's at the dorm alone, listening to the song Jihoon had written for him before he died.  
In Jihoon's honor, Soonyoung has the song released on their next album, as a duet between him and Jihoon.

 

 

  
**여기에 우리에게있어 (Here's to Us) by SEVENTEEN**  
**Lyrics by: Woozi**

**Sung by: Woozi, Hoshi**  
**Composed by: Woozi**

  
_Hello? I've got a lot to say._  
_If I speak, will you listen?_

  
_I'm sorry._  
_I'm sorry that it happened this way._  
_All I see are serenity and rose quartz._  
_My heart only feels the complexity._

  
_This world isn't a nice place._  
_Humans are cruel._  
_This isn't the way I wanted it to end._  
_No. No. No._

  
_Here's to us._  
_Here's to the tears we cried._  
_Here's to the times we laughed._  
_Here's to the times we loved._  
_Here's to, here's to my heartbeat._

  
_Breathing in the late night air,_  
_my eyes are glued to the screen._  
_You come in and take my worries away._  
_You come in and make me laugh._

  
_Here's to us._  
_Here's to our love._  
_Here's to our passion._  
_Here's to our smiles._  
_Here's to, here's to your heartbeat._

  
_When the days are over, I hope for you to smile._  
_And forget everything as we lay down and count the stars._

  
_Here's to us._  
_Here's to the songs we wrote._  
_Here's to the dances we made._  
  


  
_Your demon._  
_My angel._

 

_Here's to us._

 

**Author's Note:**

> Ayo Ayo!  
> I love Soonhoon.  
> I don't know why I did this to them.  
> wHoOPS.
> 
> ALSO.  
> BEFORE YOU ASK,  
> "HERE TO US" IS NOT A REAL SONG!  
> IT IS WRITTEN BY ME.  
> It sucks.  
> Sorry!
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading this awkward one shot.  
> Until next time,  
> stay shining.


End file.
